Wedding

The traditional Vietnamese wedding is one of the most important of traditional Vietnamese occasions. Regardless of westernization, many of the age-old customs practiced in a traditional Vietnamese wedding continue to be celebrated by both Vietnamese in Vietnam and overseas, often combining both western and eastern elements.

In the past, both men and women were expected to be married at quite a young age. The parents and extended family would make required arrangements and the children have no say in this matter. However, in modern Vietnam, this has changed completely as people choose their own marriage-partners based on love, and in consideration primarily to their own needs and wants.

 “Le dinh hon”?

"Le dinh hon" is an old Vietnamese tradition whereby the couple’s families would meet for the very first time. They would then officially announce the couple’s engagement to family and friends, and at the same time pick a good date for the wedding.

A "le dinh hon" ceremony begins with the future groom’s family visiting the future bride’s home and presenting gifts wrapped in round lacquered boxes covered in red cloths to the bride and her family.  Usually the gifts would include areca nuts, betel leaves, tea, cake, fruits, wines, a roasted pig, and other delicacies that are beautifully arranged and carried by unmarried women and men to the future bride’s home.  If the gifts are accepted by the future bride’s family, it is a sign that they approve of the upcoming marriage between the couple.

The future bride, dressed in a magnificent ao dai (Vietnamese traditional dress), is hidden in another room while the gifts are presented, accepted, and introductions are exchanged.  Her parents will come into the room and walk her out to be introduced to both sides of the family.  The couple then lights incense for the ancestors and serves tea to the elders of both families.

The future bride’s family would have prepared a feast for everyone to enjoy after the tea ceremony. That’s not it! Appropriate portions and items must be shared with the future groom’s family before they leave the party.  Each gift has a special meaning and must be shared among the two families properly for good luck.

Adapted from: What's the big deal with Vietnamese weddings?

Vietnamese customs of weddings, funerals, holidays and rituals all are attached to village community. Marriages not only reflects the lovers' desire but also had to meet the interests of the family lines, the village. Thus, the choice for future bride or groom must be done very carefully, which had to go through many formalities from the lighting ceremony, the official proposal to the bride's family, the wedding to the marriage tie, the ritual of sharing bridal cup of wine, the newly-weds' first visit to the bride's family. Besides, the bride had to pay a fine in order for her to be accepted as a new member of the village.